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Sunday, September 7, 2014

Me Versus Earth: An Examination of Humans Who Are Like Animals & How This Affects Society

I'm different than most people on the planet Earth. I know this because I meet a lot of people online and in real life who seem to be a completely different species than me although we look, talk, feel, and breathe the same. There are people who can sit in an office for days and years on end, never moving up to even get a breeze or do some exercise. This to me is a sign of a lazy monkey in human form. Or maybe a panda. Pandas like to sit and do nothing, besides eat bamboo. There are many humans like this, but they exchange the bamboo for Big Macs or french fries.

Other humans who I think are just animals in a human body would have to be humans who think they are superior. These are the people who I might work with once or twice, and never see again, but in that short period, these humans domineer and try to control everybody who is working with them. They assume a bossy mentality despite them having no official leverage on anybody. These types of humans are likely pigs in human form. They want everyone to put a little more in the trough but it's not for the good of everyone; it's for the good of the other pigs. They are usually pretty well off already, maybe even more so than the other humans, but they always think they deserve a little more. These pigs sometimes take the form of bartenders who believe their job is the most difficult of all, and they believe that a server below them should provide ample tip outs despite the server making hardly enough money to feed herself for the following week. Yet, this bartender has many times, come from a double-income household and is only working for "fun." This type of bartender will never be satisfied with any amount of money and will always be talking to somebody on the side about their bartending hardships. They put down customers, servers, and other workers, making themselves feel overly important, but somehow stay there trying to get a bigger cut of everyone else's money, or throw an attitude otherwise.

Another group of humans who seem to be animals are those who believe they know ALL the ins and outs of their job position, and think that nobody else in the world could ever come close to doing as great a job as they do. They are very protective and territorial of their position. These people are found everywhere - from restaurants, to bars, office buildings, retail shops, and more. While you may walk into a store and be kindly greeted by a humble employee who then minds his/her own business until you ask for their assistance, you may at times have had your shopping disrupted by a know-it-all employee or coworker who stands around gossiping about everything from their boyfriend's ex-girlfriend to the customers whom they flash fake smiles at all day. These people are likely snakes in human form. They are smooth, so they know how to ease their way into the favor of those who employ longterm. However, at the turn of a back, you will see their facade fade away. As a customer that people pay little attention to, I am able to meander my way through aisles and catch bits of conversation only meant to be heard between cash registers and segmented walls. Never has anyone purposely let words slip in front of a customer, but alas, even the sleekest snakes sometimes let a word or two escape.

A growing popular form of animals in human form would have to be the young managerial types who  are employed by family, or somehow gain an inside connection with an establishment which enables them to bypass the less desirable positions that others might work for years in order to move up. These young people appear to be in their 20s - 30s but they have not really held a customer service job or experienced the woes and foes of working jobs where they are managed by others or have to directly deal with and cater to customers. They are automatically handed power and authority, as well as a livable income, so they assume they are hard workers and will then put down anybody who does not or cannot live up to their standards. These misguided youth are just sheep with a bigger coat. They will run to where the comfort is, the food, or what have you. But if anything too dangerous or too challenging shall arise, they will duck for cover and blame somebody else for the problem. They only stick around if the weather is nice and there is nothing too difficult for them swallow. They are used to overseeing and telling smaller sheep what to do, which enlarges the ego and disables the young person from acquiring the necessary realizations needed to have compassion and empathy for humans who are not so privileged. They see other humans misfortunes' and hardships as a result of laziness and this is an inconvenience to them. These humans generally dislike the homeless, freelance workers, artists, and customers who are not wealthy. Instead of helping the less fortunate, or appreciating diversity, they focus on their own success and wonder why everyone can't be like them.

A very popular line of work that many young females take are those in the entertainment industry. These are what I believe to be flamingoes in human form. These types of young women are usually in their 20's or early 30's, but mostly 20's. They work any type of job that allows them to be sexy or show off their assets. Their good bodies are normally a result of being young, and not necessarily healthy diet and exercise, so you may find they look mediocre, but many have a big head or an inflated sense of hotness.  Flamingoes are not in it for the money, but rather for attention-seeking purposes. As a result, the pay in this type of work remains undeniably low, unreliable, and highly unlivable. But these flamingoes do not worry about such things. They obtain income from their wealthy family or sugar daddies. They enjoy being praised and admired. Attention from others is the only compensation they really need to get the job done. They hardly speak their minds because there is usually not much there to begin with. The words and phrases they use are those repeated from bimbettes on reality television shows. One may feel they are standing next to a direct relative of Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton upon listening to a flamingo talk. Flamingoes wear excessive makeup each day, attach fake hair to their head because all of their real hair was destroyed by dyes and styling tools, and won't leave the house until their hands and feet are perfectly manicured. They will never appear anywhere without looking their best, and will force you to untag any photos of them that are less than superficially succinct.
In relationships, a flamingo most likely spends her time trying to get back at her ex, back with her ex, or just back to fucking her ex, but she is never satisfied with him or any other guy. Like a real flamingo, she will pick up and fly to wherever has the next biggest perks. Flamingoes think they are too beautiful to lift a finger and will never pursue anything that requires a person to sweat or feel physical pain. The only exception is pregnancy, and this tends to occur either by accident, or because there are other incentives such as a newfound form of attention via social media, gifts, parties and publicity money (if this flamingo happens to be a celebrity). Many flamingoes indulge in prescription medication, and enjoy alcohol greatly which numbs any thoughts or sensations that may make them feel all too human. Another sign of the flamingo is the constant camera-taking of selfies and mingling with men in suits who look rich. Future aspirations include getting a boob job.

This is just a generalized description of the types of work and people out there that are bringing down our society as a whole. Morally deficient individuals in a society founded from hard work and humility is turning our world upside down. This is why there are riots on Wall Street, fast food employee strikes, and a declining message of hope in the entertainment world. People are losing faith, growing tired, and feeling impatient. We need to put an end to these mentalities and stand up for ourselves. By babying our youth, we are hurting future generations. Children will never grow up. Adults will remain irresponsible. Instead of coming together, we are pulling apart. Separated by social class, placing value on each other based on appearances and pocket money, instead of personality and wisdom, the only direction this is headed is to another state of war.

I urge you to look at your surroundings, and most importantly yourself. Which traits are you representing? How can you make a difference? Are you perpetuating societal downfall and ignorance?

Monday, June 9, 2014

-:- Funny Facebook Memes -:-

This is a compilation of memes I collected that made me laugh, or just thought were cute. Feel free to use on your own Facebook.

Hey at least there is a list.

Sorry guardian angel...

The goal of my whole existence in one meme.

Yep, that's me! A Facebook fan made this after reading one of my statuses, lol.

My thoughts on a regular basis when scrolling my news feed...

Or apply head to pillow and throw sheet over body.

Tard is never wrong. 

The perfect blunt.

Words of wisdom. I'm living proof!

Illuminati is real, people! And it's in yo' mac & cheese.

This is me, too. Hahaha. Another meme courtesy of Facebook fan.

This sums up just about everybody I know...

Just plain adorable.

Thanks for reading! As always, stay entertained.



Friday, March 14, 2014

... Sh*t Guys Type On Facebook ...

Funny, creepy convos are a part of every girl's life. Whether it be daily, weekly, monthly, or bi-annual harassment, this legal form of communication never ceases to amaze me. On a given day, young females across America are being bombarded by increasingly odd messages from men (and a small percent from lesbian women). Each typist varies in age, background, and literacy. One may see hints of what the young adult population calls "thirst" which is a synonym to "desperate." 

Exhibit A
The Pesterer

Exhibit B
The Fake Profile Pic Guy

Exhibit C
Just LOL.

Exhibit D
A Typical Male

Exhibit E
Related To A Famous Person, Apparently.

Exhibit F
Whoops, Didn't Black Out That Name. Oh Well.

Exhibit G

 Exhibit H
Thanks for the Offer...

Hope you enjoyed this small starter collection of interesting convos. Tune in next time, when more creepy messages are released for the public! Let's stand up to creepers online. It's NOT okay.