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Friday, March 14, 2014

... Sh*t Guys Type On Facebook ...

Funny, creepy convos are a part of every girl's life. Whether it be daily, weekly, monthly, or bi-annual harassment, this legal form of communication never ceases to amaze me. On a given day, young females across America are being bombarded by increasingly odd messages from men (and a small percent from lesbian women). Each typist varies in age, background, and literacy. One may see hints of what the young adult population calls "thirst" which is a synonym to "desperate." 


Exhibit A
The Pesterer


Exhibit B
The Fake Profile Pic Guy



Exhibit C
Just LOL.

Exhibit D
A Typical Male

Exhibit E
Related To A Famous Person, Apparently.


Exhibit F
Whoops, Didn't Black Out That Name. Oh Well.

Exhibit G
CRAIGSLIST = NO

 Exhibit H
Thanks for the Offer...


Hope you enjoyed this small starter collection of interesting convos. Tune in next time, when more creepy messages are released for the public! Let's stand up to creepers online. It's NOT okay. 

Sincerely,
*JadeLilyPop*

www.jadelilythings.etsy.com

Thursday, February 13, 2014

<:> Adventures in Serving: After the Tilted Kilt Fired Me (4 years later) <:>

Reflections Into Jade's Life
Waitress Stories: The Tilted Kilt Experience

Several years ago I had the unfortunate accident of working for a company called "The Tilted Kilt." Well, actually it was called something else, that was just the name of some branch of a low budget whore house. Anyway, I needed the job, and I needed the money, and it wasn't a full on strip club. We weren't allowed to remove our clothing. Anyway, after two weeks and raking in like $2,000 I got my pay stub from our training week which consisted of 5 days,  5-7 hours each day of training. Training pay was not included on our checks and they tried to say, "Oh yes this $121.00 right here is your training pay." But then with all the overtime hours I worked in the first two weeks, I should have earned a lot more.

To make a long story short, they fired me after I told the other girls. Because frankly, they broke the law and knew it. Looking back, I probably could have sued, won, and avoided living in poverty for another month while in Columbus. But... whatever. I still kept half of their uniform and took these hilariously incriminating photos.

I came across these photos.. while sorting through my laptop's storage drive... at the time it happened I felt it was a bit too soon to post these! But 4 years, hell, it's been long enough.

Yes, this is your former TK girl, but she's not exactly what you'd have in mind!

Please assume a French accent whilst reading my captions.

Ellooo, may I take your ordere? Plez, hurry as we are very, very busy. You mighta like ze sausage plattere. Do you like sausage, yes?

Aye! I brought your drink! But, it appears some of it has been drank, by the alcoholic chef in ze back! Whoops! We will comp dat off your meal... zank you sir, for your understandings.


Ay yi yi! I has had such long day being hit on by old men old enough to be my fajha. Time for a nice relax session. Oh yes, dis is nice herbal remedy for such big headache from so many asshole pepple.

Aye! All betta now. I feel great! Time for a photo shoot... yes... plez take my picture with the customere!

Oh boy, look at mi ass! Like my new tattoo? Very fitting. All I needs now is a beer gut to go wit ze tattoo!

I vill be ze BEST Tilted Kilt Girl to ever walk za planet!

Pardoname while I suck on zees pen before you scribble my tip, sir.

 
Oh dear sir, please tip me good, I get pen nice and ready for you to write a numba on ze paper telling me how good I did at da service.

No tip? Well fine fack you azzhole!


This experience was just one more reason that made me resent the food & customer service industry. Just before moving to Florida I cut open the bra and found a silicone packet inside the cups that oozed a fluid out and all over my hands. The damn thing never fit me right anyway. I trashed that piece of shit!

Hahaha. Hope you enjoyed. 

Until next time!

JadeLilyPop

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

My Artsy Day Outside: Clearing Backwoods & Finding Zen

Today I had a nice time doing some primitive work. In the backyard of the house where I live, there is a fence. And behind the fence is a clearing filled with half woods & plants and the rest is a lot of open ground covered in leaves.


I collected a bunch of dead wood and positioned them in this fire pit to dry out for a fire later.


Some of it included dried up vinery.


This will make a lovely, large fire soon.


Here is the door to the clearing.


You step inside and it is like going into The Secret Garden...


Look at all this space!


This is where I can sit... right on the branch. 


A nice covering of trees and branches with leaves...


This area is great for a meditation.


It dips in a little bit.



I would like to sweep out some of these leaves! There are so many, it is like a leaf carpet. 


This is if you go farther back... more open space! Anyone up for an outdoor yoga session?


Here is the door as you exit the clearing.


I feel accomplished, as I tore away many of the miscellaneous broken branches that would otherwise poke me upon entering my newfound zen area.


Here is a snapshot of my bedroom from outside, hehe. Very colorful...


I got some cool pictures of the sky at dusk... pretty moon and bird flying.


Beautiful sunset, as if the trees are on fire!


Even prettier... I wish I could fly into this...


Chem trails doing their thang...


Moon and chem trail... o_O


There's me! 


I had a fun & productive late afternoon.


I'm sweaty after all of this, but you probably cannot tell.


Goodnight, moon!


Stay tuned to see what I do next...!

<3

JadeLilyPop